Boomers Need Love
the way, there are some of us who have lost a love, or are looking
to start a new life, or maybe are just looking for a little
excitement in our lives.
Online dating may hold the answer.
Here are some sites that we recommend... sites where you can
meet other Boomers... or just about anyone else.
Sites for Mature Singles
eHarmony for Seniors
| The Life
Extension Foundation is a nonprofit organization,
whose long-range goal is the radical extension of the healthy human
lifespan. In seeking to control aging, their objective is to develop
methods to enable us to live in health, youth and vigor for unlimited
periods of time... learn more
haven't done it already, one
of the first things you need to do is as you near retirement age is to
consider joining AARP
nonprofit organization is dedicated to addressing the needs and
interests of persons 50 and older ... learn more
| Boomer Outlook:
Uncertain Future The generation that raised hell
during the Vietnam War, pushed civil rights and feminism, and redefined
education and all of society isn't about to sit in a nursing home and
crochet doilies. I don't know what is facing the baby boomer generation
as we age, but it will probably be noisy, it will probably be
revolutionary, and it may change the treatment of the elderly for
decades to come... read
The Four Fundamentals of Credit Card Debt Credit card debt is not a topic
most people like to talk about. Probably because it makes them face
just how serious their credit card debt has become. Whether you have
five-thousand dollars of credit card debt or five hundred, there are
some "rules" to live by that can make your financial life easier... read
| Boomer Nostalgia:
Day the Music Died is the term often used to
describe a plane crash that took place on February 3, 1959 in Iowa. One
of the biggest musical tragedies in history, this crash killed Buddy
Holly, Ritchie Valens, J.P. Richardson (The Big Bopper), and Roger
Peterson, the pilot... read
Whether you have
recently lost a love, are looking to start a new life, or are just
trying to add a little excitement and romance to your life... it won't
hurt to brush up on your dating and relationship skills.
whether you're a Baby Boomer or Senior Citizen... looking for love
Online can be a tricky business. You'll find a plethora of Personals
and Matchmaking websites aimed at Mature Singles for you to navigate
through. Below we have assembled some handy advice to help you on your
Back in the Game - Smart Senior
When Seniors Remarry Late in
Life What is Different and What Pitfalls Could Be Avoided
Building Your Perfect Online
22 Must-Know Dating Secrets Compiled By
The Heart-Wisdom Coach
Online Dating Safety Tips
Dating And Self Confidence
Back in the Game - Smart
Senior Dating Tips
By: Henrik Boyander
Being a senior
citizen does not mean that you will not desire love and romance as well
as the companionship that comes with a relationship. Yet for some
seniors it has been a while since they have been in the mood for a
date, and getting back in the game is not that easy. Here are some
smart senior dating tips that will help you make the transition into
dating easy and also safe:
Be honest with
yourself about what you want out of a dating relationship. Do you want
a long-term relationship? Are you looking for a spouse? Do you just
want a buddy with whom to hang out or go places? Are you looking for a
sexual relationship with few strings attached? Once you are certain
about what it is that you are looking for, make sure to also be honest
about it to potential mates. Do not lead someone on who is looking for
a serious relationship if you are not in the game for the same.
If you sign up
with a dating serving, be honest about your age and your looks. If you
are bald, say so. If you are 79 years young, say so. Do not shave 14
years off your actual age and hope that you can pull off that look when
it gets around to meeting your date. If she or he thinks they are
connecting with a 65 year young senior, they will be very disappointed
to meet up with someone who is 79. This disappointment is probably not
because of your age, but because you have seen it fit to be dishonest.
Similarly, if you
are dating online, keep in mind that things might have changed a bit
since you were last in the game. While there have always been those who
sought to prey on unsuspecting seniors, usually in order to steal their
nest egg, now you have to contend with a whole new crop of thugs:
online stalkers. For this reason, set up a special email address that
you will maintain for your online dating purposes.
Do not answer
questions about your telephone number or address, and instead be
evasive by listing the next big city that is close to the city in which
you live. When you are getting to meet up face to face with your
Internet beau, do it in a public setting, and even better, do it as
part of a double date. There is always strength in numbers, and you
should plan on meeting your date with a reliable couple by your side.
Do not discuss
financial things, such as your investments or social security checks.
This is information that should be given out on a need-to-know basis,
and an Internet date does not need to know this information.
If Internet dating
seems a bit too modern for your taste, sign up with your local senior
center to learn about their activities. Many times you will be able to
meet up with other seniors who may also be looking for companionship or
Of course, once
you are back in the game, you will find that some things that may have
irked you about your spouse for the past twenty years will also irk you
about a new date. Similarly, you may find that you will slip back into
old patterns that you had in your last long-term relationship.
Sometimes these patterns can be comforting, yet at other times you
might have found them annoying then, and so you will probably also find
them annoying now.
Therefore, if your
date begins to behave like a cantankerous spouse, and perhaps begins to
criticize your every move, and belittle you to others, do not feel that
you will have to endure this kind of behavior once again, just for the
privilege of having someone new to love or care about. Instead, kindly,
politely, but firmly bid your date farewell and do not entertain
requests for subsequent dates.
all, there really is no reason to put up with behavior that bothers you
or that is downright rude. You are worth so much more than that, and
while it may be easy to slip into old habits, it most certainly is not
Seniors Remarry Late in Life What is Different and What
Pitfalls Could Be Avoided
By Luise Volta
A lot has been
written about romance but there isn't much available data about senior
romance. It's actually in a class by itself and needs special
First of all, the
normal hurdles that younger couples have to work their way through are
seldom of concern. Careers are over for most seniors. Children are
raised and have left home. Home buying and other major acquisitions
were made in the distant past. Well, then, it sounds like all should be
quiet on the romantic front, doesn't it?
That's not necessarily so.
Seniors who have
reached an advanced age, say past seventy, have often established some
very strong opinions. One person put it to me this way..."There are a
lot of ways to go to the mailbox." It isn't something that is often
noticed on the surface. Habits become solidified and attitudes,
opinions and reactions become pretty firmly entrenched without much
fanfare. Long, comfortable marriages seem to support the "I Did It My
Way" that Frank Sinatra once sang about.
Seniors who find
themselves alone, usually because of the loss of a partner, don't have
current skills at dating and selecting a mate. How could they? And what
worked in their late teens or early twenties is usually way beyond
obsolete. Unfortunately, most "don't know that they don't know" and
assumptions are usually rampant.
becomes a stiff affair involving a meal out with friends or alone and
maybe a movie. More often than not, a marriage is contracted with no
baseline of reality to hold it together. Each partner knows how things
should be, which is how they always were in the past, right? Wrong!
Issues of all kinds arise when no serious consideration is given to
varying points of view.
The land of
assumptions is the direct opposite of deep, investigative
conversations. What should be seriously addressed are attitudes about
sexual behavior, the handling of finances, the division of labor in the
home and yard and how various adult children are going to be involved.
And that's just for starters.
Even when this is
done, deep honesty may be by-passed. Telling it how it would be
"lov-er-ly"...not how it is can be an easy trap to fall into when
trying to win someone over. Often adult children react to a late in
life marriage of a cherished parent differently than the hopeful parent
thought they would. In other words, they may be hard to second guess.
One senior couple
I know quite well sailed into marital bliss with the wife being
promised "nooners" by a husband who was sure she would be the cure for
his sexual impotence. He also guaranteed that his grown kids would love
anyone he loved and that turned out to be a bust. They hadn't talked
about finances because neither of them was comfortable with the
subject, so another hurdle loomed. A decade later they are doing very
well but it looked, from my vantage point at least, like it was a long,
What seems to work
is to take it slow and easy, and see what evolves. Neither partner can
be a replacement for the one who is gone. New attitudes may have to be
considered and new patterns created. When seniors marry it is not
usually a rerun of an early-in-life romance where the pieces just fall
in place automatically. It is new and different and needs to be treated
with great respect. Seniors are wiser, we can all hope, but not as
durable in most cases. The resilience of youth has usually come and
Anyone wanting to
remarry late in life might be wise to talk with other senior
newly-weds, their own grown kids, a beloved minister and/or even a
counselor. Why not stack the deck favorably?
About the Author:
Luise Volta's life has included careers in nursing, teaching
pre-school, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting,
and dairy herd testing.
Your Perfect Online Dating Profile
By Lee Blackspur
Your online dating
profile is your first point of contact with potential friends and love
interests... make it count! Online dating has become so competitive
that you often have only a few seconds to catch your potential mate's
attention as they browse through the site. The good news about that
competitive nature is that it means there are more people than ever
online looking for someone just like you. Showcase your personality and
style to stand out above the rest.
Sit down to work
on your profile when you have time to think through the answers. Being
vague or misleading will only limit the amount of compatible people
that may contact you. Follow these guidelines to create a profile that
is an accurate and flattering reflection of your true self!
Your Filters. Your personal filters are your best weapon in
turning away incompatible people as soon as they read your profile. You
can save yourself a good deal of time sifting through a mountain of
emails from people you would never think of dating by simply stating
exactly what it is that you are looking for in your profile.
If you refuse to date smokers, say so in your profile. If you prefer a
certain build or body type, get it out in the open right away. Shallow?
Not at all. It is crucial to your online dating success that you make
it as easy as possible for the right person to find you without wasting
time communicating with people you have nothing in common with or no
Be upfront and
clearly state your expectations. After all, the internet has brought
dating a long way, but has yet to teach us to read each other's minds!
As You Would Speak. Many people freeze when it comes time to
fill out their online dating profile. But you don't have to have a big
ego or great writing skills to write something nice about yourself!
Don't fall into
the trap of submitting one word answers and same old, same old
responses. What would you say if you were speaking to your potential
love interest in person? Write it down!
Be unique and
creative. Active, descriptive words can really help to dress up your
profile. Instead of "I like: dogs and beaches", try saying "I like:
tanning at the beach and hanging out in the park with my dog, Rover".
Using this conversational tone in your profile gives people more
insight into your personality and makes them more inclined to contact
you if they like what they're reading!
Positive. So maybe it's the tenth online profile you've
filled out in recent months. Don't let your jaded or disappointed
attitude right now spoil the impression that every person who reads
your profile is forming about you over the next few weeks or months!
shine through in your writing. Think of how you feel about negative
people; you know the type, the constant complainer... the person whom
you can never please. They're really not much fun to be around! If you
didn't know them already, would you be eager to meet them? Of course
not - so don't sabotage your own online dating experience with sarcasm
negativity show up in your profile? Failing to take the time to fill it
out completely might tell people that you really aren't putting much
thought into the experience... so why should they put a second thought
your way? Listing online dating as one of your dislikes certainly
doesn't send out a warm and fuzzy message to readers.
You might not even
realize that your profile has a negative overtone. For example, saying
"I hate club music" really isn't providing any useful information about
yourself. Try "I love listening to country music and dancing with
friends". It's telling the reader more about you and sounds so much
more inviting and friendly. Which person would you want to speak with
or meet in person?
About the Author:
Lee Blackspur is the owner of
My-Dating-Advice.com, a website
that offers all sorts of free online and offline dating tips and advice
for men, women and teens of all ages and experience.
22 Must-Know Dating Secrets
Compiled By The Heart-Wisdom Coach
By Christine Akiteng
What prevents most
people from opening themselves up to love is not trusting their hearts'
wisdom (intuition) and fearing that someone will take advantage of
them. But living in your head, on guard, making sure that no one will
take advantage of you (which they do anyways) can prevent you from
experiencing the very same thing that you long for with all your heart
- boundless love and intimacy.
Using your heart
wisdom or intuition will not guarantee that no one will take advantage
of you because as long as your soul has lessons to learn, you will
continue to experience pain, betrayal and disappointment. Using your
heart wisdom will guarantee that you do not linger in pain and feeling
victimized, you can easily recognize how your perceptions, beliefs, and
behaviors are keeping you in pain and move forward on your path with a
new awareness - transforming that pain into wisdom and power.
To help you date
with conscious intentionality, I have compiled a list of heart wisdom
dating practices that I believe you will find very empowering.
Hopefully they'll help you make healthy and successful choices in your
1. Attraction is
not enough to make a relationship work -- you need compatibility and
2. If you feel
emotionally empty before you start a relationship, you will feel just
as empty once you are in one.
believers of "love at first sight" often look for all the wrong
qualities in a partner and overlook the right qualities.
4. To find out the
kind of partner you've been looking for, look at the kind of partners
you've ended up with. You don't attract the same type of person over
and over by bad luck - you get what you ask for.
unconscious programming is responsible for much of the pain you
experience in your love life.
6. Becoming aware
of your unconscious decisions is the first step to eliminating those
unwanted patterns in your love life.
7. It is possible
to experience true love with more than one person - there are many
potential partners you could be happy with.
8. There is no
"perfect' person out there who will fulfill you in every way - your
right partner will fulfill many of your needs. It is unrealistic to
expect one person to fulfill every one of your needs.
9. When you are
feeling lonely and desperate, you are much more likely to make poor
choices and end up in unfulfilling relationships.
10. When you
change and edit your values with the hope that you and your new partner
will get along, you lose your sense of self early in the relationship
and create a false sense of compatibility.
11. When you fall
in love with someone's potential rather than who they actually are, you
will only end up frustrating and hurting yourself.
12. People who go
on emotional rescue missions often mistake sympathy for love.
13. When you fall
in love with someone who is your role model, it is difficult to have a
cultivate a relationship with someone "superior" who you think will
"elevate" you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy and can't get
15. When you
experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, its NOT always love.
16. Good sex has
nothing to do with true love but making love has everything to do with
being truly in love.
17. The closer
your sexual style is to your partner's the more likely both of you will
enjoy your sexual experiences.
18. If you are
with someone who will not communicate with you about emotions, you are
NOT in a love relationship, you are in social arrangement.
19. A long
distance romance makes it easy for you to think the relationship is
much better than it actually is.
20.. The more you
love yourself, the less likely you are to allow others to treat you
with disrespect, or mistreat and abuse you.
21. The more anger
towards the past that you carry in your heart, the less capable you are
of loving in the present.
22. When you learn
to "feel' people with your heart rather than just your eyes, ears or
mind, you will attract much more healthier and compatible people in
Allow your heart - wisdom to create your future, moment-to- moment.
Live in your heart knowing that your logical, organized left-brain is
still available to you as a tool. It stores information for you to
retrieve at any time.
Go to your head
for facts you have filed there, and present them from your heart. When
you can trust your heart's wisdom your physical being becomes more
attractively relaxed, your mental being becomes more clear, your
emotional being becomes more balanced, and your spiritual being becomes
more open bringing you closer and closer to pure and true love.
You can also go to
my website in the "about me" page
and read how I transformed my own pain caused by paralyzing and
destructive fear of commitment into wisdom, power and life's calling.
safe is Online Dating?
meeting on the Net is inherently similar to meeting offline.
As long as the
same standard dating precautions are followed, cyber-savvy daters can
feel truly at ease while getting to know each other. The main thing to
remember: trust your instincts and use common sense just like you would
- Remember that
you are in control of your online experience at all times. You can
remain completely anonymous until you feel ready.
- You are also in
control when it comes to taking an online relationship offline. Plus,
you have an advantage online because you can get to know each other
before you meet. Remember that you don't need to take anything further
than the computer or phone wires until you feel completely at ease. Go
at your own pace!
- When you do
decide to meet face to face, pick a public place and provide your own
transportation to and fro. Tell a friend where you're going and check
in when you return home.
- Never include
your personal contact information in your profile, especially telephone
numbers, email, home address or your last name, and only give them out
when your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust. It's okay
to take your time.
- Set up an email
account just for online personals.
- Ask a lot of
questions and watch for inconsistencies.
- Stay away from
members who won't take no for an answer or pressure you for any kind of
personal information. Serious cyber-savvy daters will respect your
space and allow you to take your time.
- If someone asks
you to go to their personal web site or asks you for money, use common
sense not to oblige and then report the situation to the dating site.
- If someone
gives you a phone number with a strange area code, check it out to make
sure it's not a charge number before you make the call.
- Using your own
good judgment is your best bet because ultimately you are responsible
for your personal dating experience. Trust your instincts and then have
fun with the right people!
And Self Confidence
Dating can be
stressful and nerve wracking. You might feel like you are under a
microscope and all your failures and faults are exposed in the open.
But you can make things easier on yourself by boosting your confidence.
You'll be much more attractive to any date when you exude self
confidence plus you'll be able to enjoy yourself more and get much more
out of the dating experience.
Since the whole
point of dating is getting to know someone better, most people are
nervous about making a good impression. Self doubts can creep in - are
you smart enough? Attractive enough? Successful enough? That coupled
with the threat of rejection is enough to make anyone's confidence go
So how can you
increase your confidence for your next date?
First off, don't
blow the date all out of proportion. It is just a date - one afternoon
or evening. The rest of your life does not depend on it, although of
course, you could be meeting your future spouse! Whether you are just
looking for a fun night out or desperately trying to find Mr or Mrs
right, it is best to just focus on the date itself. Take it for what it
is and don't put a lot of pressure on the event. Enjoy the person you
are on the date with and the meal, movie or whatever - don't have any
great expectations other than a fun date.
Go into the date
thinking of yourself as a person that has a lot of confidence. We've
all seen them, the person that sweeps into the room and turns heads
even when they might not be the most attractive or best dressed. If you
picture yourself as confident then you will act this way - even when
you don't really feel it.
You've heard it
before but the best way to have confidence on a date is to be yourself.
Don't try to impress your date by acting like someone you are not
because you will not have the confidence to pull it off. If you hit it
off with your date, you'll be glad you weren't pretending to be someone
else as it will only be exposed later and could really muss things up
for you. Plus it just takes too much effort to pretend to be someone
else and you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much. And anyway, why
wouldn't your date like you for who you are?
If you feel
insecure about yourself, focus on the other person. Become interested
in their hobbies, likes dislikes and really think about what they have
to say. When you put them in the spotlight it takes the spotlight off
of you, plus you get to learn a lot about them. Ask questions and
really hear the answers then ask more questions about the answers. Of
course, you want to do this in a conversational way and not make your
date feel like you are grilling them! While you don't want to talk just
about yourself the whole time you also don't want to make it seem like
you are avoiding answering their questions. When you do talk about
yourself highlight your positive points.
Another way to
take some of the pressure out of a date is to do something different
instead of sitting at dinner and feeling insecure about coming up with
3 hours of conversation with someone you don't know. Find a common
interest, perhaps hiking or bird watching and make that date to do
that. This way you can talk about your experiences related to t his
interest and it will take a lot of the pressure off as well as boost
your self confidence as you will be talking about something you know a
The main thing
when dating is to remember that you are a valuable and special person.
Don't feel inferior to anyone and be confident - this will help win you
many friends and, maybe even that special someone!
About The Author: Lee
Dobbins writes for Better Self where you can learn more about self help
and self improvement.